There are in fact a lot of cultures - including Native cultures in the United States - that embrace and celebrate a third gender or a non-binary concept of gender. I know your family resides in Seattle, but how did you discover that Thailand was so open and welcoming in this way? Poppy’s parents begin to explore other areas in the world to find places that can accept Poppy for who she is from Seattle to Thailand. We’ve been very lucky in that my child’s transition hasn’t necessitated much struggle or strife - for her, for her family and friends, at school, or in her community - so the challenges both the kids and the parents face and respond to in the book are all made up. In fact, the struggles the parents and the children face in This Is How It Always Is are themselves mostly made up, never mind their reactions. It’s true that made-up parents are often more patient than actual ones, but it’s also true that made-up kids are often better behaved. Since your child faced similar issues, were these responses how you also reacted, or was this more of a reflection on how you wished you could have responded in those moments? Rosie & Penn, the parents in this beautiful story, seem to offer all the right types of love and support for their child as he struggles with gender identity. Parenting is hard, and I often reflect on how I wish I would have handled challenging situations with our kids in better ways.

This is how it always is author